Easter Message to Family and Friends

Following Church on Easter Sunday I will be leaving on a business trip to Las Vegas so I won't be with you at the Sunday dinner table. I will miss you all very much. You are all that matters to me in this world. There is always a silver lining in everything that happens however. In this instance, it is the ability to take control of the table for a few minutes by pressing you to read this together. Everyone will have to pay attention and that is virtually impossible when we are together. We love each other too much to stop talking and I wouldn't have it any other way.

This morning the Spirit brought to mind two extraordinary events from my mission I feel I should share with you. They will not be new but my perspective on them is new. These two experiences are two of my most personal experiences with Christ and became cornerstones to my testimony and faith in our Savior. I never kept a journal and so this will be something I want to add to your individual notebooks to be passed on to future generations.

My first experience was a mission conference convened in Seattle, Washington. Over three hundred missionaries from Washington and Idaho were brought together to participate in a conference designed to cleanse our hearts and purify our souls. We did not know this at the time but that was the outcome. My friend, John Lund spoke about the importance of cleansing our inner vessels and his talk was so powerful the entire missionary force lined up to speak with President Stapley. Many confessed sins that were not particularly serious but we all shared the desire to rid ourselves from anything that might impede the Spirit of God.

That evening the local missionaries performed a musical and narrative on the life of the Savior called, appropriately, "Behold the Man." Near the conclusion of the program the subject of the crucifixion of Jesus was addressed. To the shock and amazement of all, the lights in the Chapel were turned off and simultaneously the Holy Ghost was poured on the congregation. I have never felt so overwhelmed in my life. We were all breathless and speechless. We sat in darkness we all collectively felt. After what seemed an eternity the lights began to turn back on but profound silence prevailed. My eyes were drawn to floor underneath the bench in front of me. My head remained bowed but the voice of the Spirit whispered to me that if I would raise my head and look to the upper right hand side of the chapel I would see the Savior of the world. Given this experience for all, the title of the program, "Behold the Man" could not have been more appropriate.

I struggled with the invitation. Intellectually I was tempted to look but to do so was impossible. I did not feel condemned by God but neither did I feel worthy to lift my gaze to look upon Him. It was if gravity intensified and the only appropriate direction for my head to move was down. I wanted to move under the bench but thought it inappropriate to do so in the chapel. Minutes passed before someone rose to the pulpit and concluded the program. I don't remember a thing said in the program after this experience. We all were in deep reflection and pondering. Our minds could not focus on anything else.

In conversations later with others in attendance, I found there was at least one missionary who saw His face in the exact location I was told to look. Years later in a phone conversation with President Stapley he shared with me that other missionaries saw angels in the room. This experience is even more profound to me as I reflect upon it.

Although I could not bring myself to gaze upon the face of our Savior, I know without question He was present. I know He lives. I know that my Redeemer lives!

It almost feels sacrilegious to continue but the second experience influenced me as much or more than the first. Each member of my family has been told of events leading up to this experience so I won't repeat them entirely. Lauren is a little impatient with redundancy and I don't want to lose her attention.

One day my companion and I attended Bishop John Lund's institute class in Olympia, Washington. One of his topics addressed the subject of prayer. His message resonated with my soul and I could not stop thinking about it throughout the day. We worked hard and returned to our apartment late that evening. I had a few thoughts about what I had learned but determined I was too tired to apply them and retired to bed.

The next morning I arose early and immediately thought about the importance of honesty in prayer. Although I prayed my entire mission, I spent more time praying for things I thought I should pray for, than praying for what I honestly felt. Today was going to be a bomb thrower day. All of my mission I expressed gratitude for a mission I hated. I had been miserable and rebellious and found little joy in serving.

I rose from my bed, closed my bedroom door and knelt by my bed. For the first time in my life I poured out my soul to God. I told Him I was not happy and I didn't enjoy serving. I don't recall the specifics of what was said but I do recall thinking it would be a miracle if I was not struck by lightning. My honest expressions were so starkly contrasted to the insincere prayers I had spoken that I fully expected retribution for my hypocrisy.

Contrary to my expectation, my words began to resonate with my soul. Rather than anticipated condemnation I felt a calm peace come over me. Sunlight from the early morning streamed through my window and its warmth fell on my face. What happened next is difficult to describe. What I felt was physical, but there was no physical evidence to prove it. I felt a "fluid" sensation surround my body. It began at my feet and gradually rose to encompass my entire being. My sense was that of being immersed in a tank and feeling a warm sensation gradually surround me. I have written this account many times but today, for the first time I have come to recognize the experience in a way I failed to understand before. I am describing my baptism by fire, (though instead of burning I felt immersed in the love of Christ.) In moments such as this you reflect and feel a sense of wonder about what you are experiencing. It can only be described as surreal. My mind was filled with a sense of amazement when I realized the Lord could love me for who I was at that point in time. There was no mystical level of righteousness I needed to attain. I had, however, repented and entered a covenant with God earlier. As I reflect on it now, He was honoring my covenant by changing my heart.

Words cannot adequately express the joy I felt when I realize the Lord loved me for who I was at that point on. Since then I have been a different person. I still say and do goofy things but I continue to strive to sanctify my life and seek the Lord's face. I live for that day when the invitation to gaze again upon His face is extended and I may look forward with reverent awe, confidence and faith into the eyes of He who died that I might live.

I bear you my testimony this day with solemn certainty that I know He lives. Of that I am as certain as if I gazed upon His countenance that dark evening in Seattle. I have felt His Spirit often and continue to try and follow that straight and narrow path He marked, leading back to the Father.

I hope the purpose of your lives is to do the same. May we rejoice together and send our testimonies forward for future generations. May they hear our testimonies and know that we knew, even as those disciples who went before us knew. This is my prayer. I love you! He lives!

In the Holy name of Jesus, amen.

Your father,

A. Scott Roderick